My Middle Initial Is Not “SSSS”

February 14, 2007

My middle initial is S. Not SSSS. Confused? Read on…

There is no such thing as effective airline/airport security if it doesn’t embrace — by definition — intelligence, intuition and common sense. And these days, the tweezer-hunting folks at the TSA seem to possess none of these traits. In fact, based on my observations, they’re not even allowed to think. It’s part of policy…

That in itself is scary.

Consider this: In the last week, I have taken about 12 flights, many of them connecting: Los Angeles to Dallas, Dallas to New Orleans and back. Then to Greenville, Spartanburg, South Carolina, and back. Then to New York. Then Westchester to Washington, D.C. A few days later, Washington D.C. to Miami and back to the west coast. And then…to Buenos Aires, Argentina (where I am writing this).

With only one exception, I was pulled out of line each time, because the dreaded SSSS was printed on my boarding pass.

On almost every flight, this meant that I somehow fit the profile — that “secondary screening” was required…I was scanned, wanded, touched, and then touched again. My carry on bags were unpacked and dissected. And in many cases, run through machines a second — and in one case — a third time.

On one flight, when one of my staffers was flying with me — from Westchester to Washington’s Reagan airport — she had the SSSS experience simply because she was flying with me.

How do I fit the profile? It’s simple…and it’s stupid. I qualify for the special treatment because the profiling criteria are, well…absurd. I normally fly — because of my ever-changing schedule — on one-way tickets, on reservations made within 24 hours; and I usually only have carry-on bags (as many of you know, I always courier my big bags ahead to save time and stress). But…voila… that also qualifies me as a potential terrorist threat.

Here’s the ridiculous irony here: that same profiling criteria also identifies me as a high yield, frequent flying business traveler — the very kind of traveler who keeps airlines in the air!

This isn’t effective profiling. This is a stressful waste of time, which could (at least in my case) qualify as harassment.

If the TSA wants effective profiling, they should give their front line people the respect and flexibility they deserve: to think, to use their intuition, and to ask appropriate, effective questions.

But that never happens. Even when authorities DO ask questions, they’re consistently stupid in their delivery, because they are robotic and easily answered by “yes” or “no.”

Did you pack your bags yourself? (Yes).

Have they been in your possession since you packed them? (Yes).

Did anyone give you anything to pack in your bags? (No).

When these questions are asked, they are always asked in this order. So any dumb terrorist only needs to know it’s two “yeses” and one “no” and..bye-bye.

Any good reporter or street cop will tell you that you never want to ask any question that can be answered by yes or no. Don’t ask a suspected killer if he murdered his wife. You’ll always get a no….

Instead, ask him what he did with the murder weapon. If he answers that question, you have your criminal. The same applies to airport and airline security. Just ask someone where he or she is going. And why. Or ask them what hotel they stayed in last night….

And you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to ask the questions — or effectively interpret the answers.

So let’s allow our TSA folks to think, to use their intelligence, their intuition — and to embrace common sense.

Until then, SSSS means “stupid” times four.

For more on airport security, check out “Flick Your Bic: Modern Airport Security”.

Check out more from Peter’s Blog, the Travel Detective Files.